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Illustration by Alex Jenkins. Everyone loves orgasms, right? If we didn't, we wouldn't go to ridiculous lengths to achieve them like pirating porn alone or going through the exhausting process of romancing a special someone just so we can have one in the company of another human.

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But keeping your butt healthy on the outside and the inside is really important to your overall health too. These are 10 things that you should never do to your behind under any circumstances. Wet butt wipes for adults have grown in popularity in recent years, despite there being no real health benefits to using them.

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Make EMS1 your homepage. Lots of medics have a go to "that one patient" story they share when asked by friends or family for something they never expected to hear about in the ambulance. The X-ray will provide crucial information in formulating a plan of attack in removing the unwanted occupant.

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I bring to you the definitive guide to what not to stick up your butt! The glorious paper back guide with a colored pages, illustrated and written by me, Francisco Salinas. My years of experience and dedication to my craft shall help guide those in need! The road is long and narrow, but with your help I know we can conquer anything!

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Butt hole expansion is hard, and balloon expansion is easy, so this seemed like a no-brainer. Turns out, this was a brainer! A lot of you had balloons pop inside your butts.

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Apparently, you people are putting ginger up your buttsand we have questions. To wit: What the fuck? Hell, yes.

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Plus: Can I keep my ex-girlfriend's panties? The issue is that, a few months ago, his younger sister found one of her tampons in the garbage, and it was covered with poop. Then, a couple of days ago, we were going to bed and we heard a noise coming from his bathroom.

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What length in size and diameter should i get that maximises the pleasure and safe for penetration. Because you can lose it up there. True story.

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Have you thought about the health of your butt lately? We tend to give anal health the short shrift in comparison to the time we spend thinking about the well-being of our vaginas, those pampered show ponies of the underwear area. But anuses require good treatment too, and that includes refraining from putting certain items and substances into or around them.

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When we did the X-ray, we saw Barbie. Not only was she way up in there, but her arms were straight up and hair was everywhere, it really looked like she was having a grand time! Dude was found lying face down on his couch, completely naked, with a fish tail sticking out from between his cheeks.

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