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There is something so pleasurably painful about reading old diaries, like picking a scab or waiting for a sneeze or asking an ex to explain, in graphic detail, why they don't want to fuck you anymore. I've mostly avoided rereading my diaries, which are all typed, due to my near-pathological aversion to my own handwriting. But in March, felled by illness and regressing in surprising ways, I wanted to pick that aforementioned scab.

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F or a while this was shaping up as, if not quite one of football's most evil weeks, then at least a week when football could look back on its evildoing with a sense of having gone out there and really done a job. First came Lord Triesman's claims that Fifa — an organisation that inhabits a cavernous bulletproof aircraft hanger and whose gleamingly basted president emanates at all times a personal force field of strangulation-strength phoniness — may actually be a little corrupt. The suggestion of murkiness was only compounded by Jack Warner's comment that, on hearing the claims against him, he laughed "like hell", as though this would somehow make him seem just really innocent and reassuring, rather than like the kind of horrifying, banshee figure who might appear in your nightmares waving a breadknife and wearing only a butcher's apron and a beard of bees.

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